I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
