I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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