If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
