He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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