so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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