I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
