her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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