After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Let's paint friendship bongs
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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