1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Actions speak louder than pants.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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