We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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