Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
