I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Who died my cat blue again?
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