Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
