We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I puked a lego.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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