Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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