and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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