We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she pinky promised me she was 18
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
