im gay
i know
yea but for you.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
