Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
