brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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