you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
where am i from again
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
