508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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