Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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