just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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