I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
