I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
