i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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