we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
