Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
