I love having hate sex.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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