those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
