Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
