I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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