Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
