Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
