Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
foreskin is a definite game changer
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
