grandma shit on top of the toilet
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so let's talk penis.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
