i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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