OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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