Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
