im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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