who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
