If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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