I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Green mimosas i think yes
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
