Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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