I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
