I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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