you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
