No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
