White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
