is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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