Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
