David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just blew my weed a kiss
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
