could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
